I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
