i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
