Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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