break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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