Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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