today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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