how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
