how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize