i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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