I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
