The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have aggressive nipples.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
