"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
