he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
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