I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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