State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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