therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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