I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
