It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
