Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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