fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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