I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
