so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He called his prostate his "boner button".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
