His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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