i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
