At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
