we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
