I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
