so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
