There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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