Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
