HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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