he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
