He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
