So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Less talking, more tequila
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
