He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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