how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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