i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
