Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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