Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
