i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
