And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize