Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Randomize
