I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
