my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize