I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
