I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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