we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
