The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
3 2 1 whiskey
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My life is pants optional.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
