Christians are straight up FREAKS
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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