those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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